Of Roommates and Murder
by Rachgraceh
Summary: Jareth whisks an unwilling Sarah away for a romantic(?) evening. But when they return, they find Sarah's roommate Tessy in a very compromising situation. Poor Toby reads into it all very wrong and hilarious misconceptions need correcting. Two shot-ish thing. The second in my Labyrinth collection.


**ATTENTION! If you haven't read my first oneshot, Goblin Ale, I highly recommend it. While not necessary to understand, Sarah and Toby's situation in this story will make a whole lot more sense.**

**The only things that belongs to me, unfortunately, are Tessy, and the cover art, which I painted specifically to illustrate the second chapter. You can find a link to it on my profile page.**

With an explosive poof, they landed in the living room, Jareth gracefully, Sarah with much staggering and flailing. When she got her feet well enough under her, she turned to glare daggers at him. He gave her a look like a wounded puppy.

"Aren't you going to thank me?"  
"For what? Drowning me in glitter?" She shook out her skirts.

"Now Sarah-" He was cut off by a gurgling noise.

They both turned to see a half dressed Tessy staring at them, swaying on wobbly legs. A man Sarah had never seen was passed out, quite naked behind her. She could feel her ears go red.

"Oooo Sarrrrrahhh! There yooooou are! You missed awll the fuuuuwn!" Her roommate giggled, tossing her hands up and nearly losing her balance.

"Ooooooh!" Her eyes grew to saucers as she took in Jareth, in all his royal regalia. "Sarrrah! Why do you all ways get the gooood 'ns?" She lurched dangerously.

Jareth frowned at his companion. "Sarah, what does she mean? Is she implying there are others?"

"Ooooo he's soooo sparkly!"

Tessy suddenly gave a gasp that Pinkie Pie would be proud of. "THOSE PANTS!"

"Get a grip Tessy! Is Toby upstairs?"

"Where else would he be? Now answer me. Are there others?" Came the King's interjection.

"Jareth, you're completely missing the point!" Sarah tossed a hand toward Tessy. "Tessy's so drunk she can hardly stand up-"

"Cammmm toooooo!" She reached gimme hands out to Jareth. He ignored her.

"There's a strange, NAKED man in my living room, and my SIX YEAR OLD brother is most likely in desperate need therapy by this point!

"Yes, but are there others!?"

Sarah could taste blood as she resisted the urge to rip the hair out of his head.

"Stop being more of an idiot than usual!" She whirled on her now drooling roommate.

"What have I told you!? No alcohol when Toby is here, and no men PERIOD! This is absolutely unacceptable!" She reached and yanked up Tessy's precariously saggy strapless dress. "What do you have to say for yourself!?"

"PANTS!" She gasped, and crumpled to the floor.

Sarah just stared at her, trying to will murder out of her head. She bit back the 'It's not fair!' that threatened to spill out

"Careful Sarah, the ends of your hair are starting to smoke."

She glared at him, before wheeling and storming up the spiral stairs. Jareth, much to her annoyance, followed.

Sarah opened Toby's door quietly, just in case, by some miracle, her outrage hadn't woken him.

He was huddled in a corner, rocking himself back and forth, whimpering.

"Oh Toby!" Sarah rushed forward. "Are you all right?" She knelt before him, and took him by the shoulders. He grabbed on for dear life.

"Sarah! Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine, but are you?"

"Uh huh, but Sarah, I think someone's murdered Tessy! She wouldn't stop make all these terrible moans and screams!"

Sarah blinked. Behind her, Jareth made a very odd little noise.

She wasn't sure whether to rage or go into a fit of historical laughter.

"O-oh Toby, no she's… fine."

"You mean she's alive?"

"Y-yes." Her voice quavered. She bit her lip.

Toby relaxed a bit, glad that his Monopoly partner was still breathing. He took his sister in.

"You look pretty. Like a Queen."

"Oh. Thanks." She could practically feel the pride radiating off the Goblin King.

"But Sarah, if she wasn't dying, why was Tessy screaming so much?"

Another noise from behind her. Toby looked up.

"Hi Jareth!" He said with a toothless smile.

"Hello Toby." Sarah could hear the smile he was trying to swallow. Toby looked back at her.

"Well?"

"Oh, um….. she was….excited."

"Grown-ups scream when they're excited?"

"….Some times."

Jareth let out a bark of laughter at that.

"Indeed!" He rumbled.

Sarah twisted round to scowl at him.

"Don't be such a per-" He raised an eye brow at her. "Pest."

She turned a reddening face back to Toby.

"Don't worry, everything's alright now. You need to go back to bed. You have school in the morning."

"But I'm not tired!" He said around an enormous yawn.

"Mmm hm." She pulled him up, and helped him clamor under the sheets.

"Sarah, promise Tessy will be ok?" his eyes drooped.

"Oh, don't worry," Sarah said wryly, "She's in my….capable hands."

The door closed with a soft click, and the two made their way back down stairs as quietly as possible. As quietly as one could in high-heels and ridiculously poofy skirts.

They surveyed the wreckage. The strange man snoozing in a boneless sprawl on the couch, his shirt strategically covering the unpleasant bits, beer cans littered the carpet, and Tessy was flopped on the floor in a terribly uncomfortable looking position, snoring appallingly loudly. Not to mention the room was in a bit of a shambles.

Sarah sighed wearily.

"What am I going to do with him?"

Jareth smiled slyly. With a flourish, he dramatically snapped his leather clad fingers. In an instant, everything righted itself. Tessy was deposited on the couch, and the man disappear entirely!

"What did you do with him!?"

"That's my business." He said with a smile.

Sarah gave him a look.

He chuckled. "The goblins have been complaining about the lack of a stable boy, and this lad seems to be in sore need of something constructive to do."

"So you think it's ok just to zap someone out of their life on a whim?"  
"Oh he doesn't have any kind of life. Trust me, I checked." He shook his head. "The lows some of you humans bring yourselves to are astounding."

There was a silence. He looked at her in cocky expectance.

"Thank you, I suppose." Sarah said, attending not to grit her teeth.

Jareth bowed elegantly. "you are most welcome, my dear. I hope you had a very enjoyable evening."

Sarah huffed. She would never in a million years admit that she had. She turned to go up to bed.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast."

She turned.

"What?" She didn't bother keeping the irritation out of her tone.

"This little mess of yours was not created by any of my- what did you call them? Goons? Yet I went to the trouble of cleaning it up. I afraid this sort of magic come with a cost."

Sarah folded her arms.

"Name your price."

He stood back, regarding her with a little smile. He stroked his chin for effect.

"Let's just say," He leaned into her space. "You owe me a favor."

Sarah scowled.

"Until next time Precious." With a smirk, he vanished.

Sarah suppressed a shiver. Owing anything to the Goblin King was not something she relished.

**I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I promise the next few won't have anything to do with alcohol! I just sorta had the idea and thought it was too funny to pass up. The second chapter, about the love bird's(?) evening will be up soon!**


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